" Higher education is now second only to catering in the proportion of non-permanent staff employed " - THES editorial . April
Next. Ah yes. David Pringle. Do sit down. Now, I understand that you wish to apply for the temporary post that will become available in this department next Wednesday.
That's right.
You understand that the position is for three weeks in the first instance, with the possibility of renewal for a further three weeks subject to satisfactory performance. And you also know that you'll be required to work a 60-hour week at £3.50 per hour.
I do.
Right. Let's move onto qualifications. You have a first-class degree in media studies and a doctorate.
That's right.
Good. Now, let us discuss specific duties. I take it that you would have no particular problem serving up four edible first-year lectures as well as 22 pre-prepared seminars every week.
These would be undergraduate seminars?
Basic bread-and-butter stuff with the occasional dab of jam for the third-years.
I think I could manage that all right.
Excellent. Well, you seem the ideal candidate for the job. All you need to do now is to collect your worksheet from Maureen on the way out and make sure that you turn up before dawn next Wednesday morning to commence your duties.
Oh yes, there's just one other thing. You'll appreciate that with so many people now working on short-term contracts it is becoming increasingly difficult for permanent staff to remember everyone's name.
Right.
So in future, I hope you won't mind if everyone addresses you as "boy".
What else?