My student has hired an independent counsellor. Now what?

A major problem in the university counselling space is all the external noise students face. There is a lot of useful information out there – but it can feel like there is even more misinformation. More specifically, the use of independent counsellors or agents, particularly in places like China and the Middle East, can make a school-based counsellor’s role more challenging.

But it doesn’t have to. The following are a few strategies that can help facilitate a strong working relationship with a student and their family even if they are working with someone outside school.

1. Don’t stigmatise independent counsellors

The moment a student feels like you disapprove of something – and that they therefore have to keep it a secret – is the moment communication starts to break down. Open lines of communication are so essential in this job.

Therefore, rather than denouncing the use of outside counsellors altogether, simply ask the student if they are working with anyone outside school. This will prevent any walls going up.

Additionally, reinforce that you are always available and will be providing the same level of support regardless of who else the student is working with. This will provide reassurance and begin to build the trust that is essential in this work.

It can be difficult at times but it is important to practise empathy in these situations. Parents and students feel an immense amount of pressure going into this process – and parents, in particular, only want what is best for their child. While working with an independent counsellor may not be what we think is best, it is our job to be understanding and to continue to support the student, no matter what.

2. Be a trusted source of information

One of the key parts of supporting students and families during the university application process is sharing information and educating them each step of the way. Whether during individual meetings or formal presentations, students and parents gravitate towards the people they feel know a lot about this process, and who spend the time sharing and explaining things to them.

Taking time to explain things will also encourage students and parents to run things by you and ask for your opinion when they have been given advice they are unsure about. Seeing that you are knowledgeable and confident in your responses will only strengthen your relationship.

3. Highlight the role of a school-based counsellor

We know there are specific things only school-based counsellors can do and independent counsellors cannot. It is important to share this information with parents and students as a way to emphasise the importance of open communication.

Particularly, you might choose to emphasise how you have the opportunity to advocate for that student via the counsellor recommendation letter – therefore you want to get to know the student as best you can. Additionally, highlighting how school-based counsellors work to build and maintain relationships with university representatives is another way you can show students and parents the importance of fostering this relationship.

Finally, you can stress that you are always available, by virtue of being in the school. Being visible lets students know that they can always reach out and talk to you in person.

4. Cooperate with the external counsellor

Most of the time, external counsellors are working on the same things with students as we are. In fact, they may well have created documents to help them with things like list-building and tracking extracurricular activities. Ask to see these documents – they might help you, too.

Additionally, you can provide students with a list of tasks that they could work on with their external counsellor. There’s no need for this process to be kept completely separate. We can all work together in the best interests of the student.