Absolutely Akkered

Lecturers' union Natfhe has opened a stress helpline for its members. The move follows a survey which found over a third of members were depressed, and nearly two thirds were stressed. Helpline operators are awaiting a call from John Akker, Natfhe's suspended general secretary. Oddly enough the new AUT helpline has a number that is just one digit different. Natfhe victims should call 0990 234534: AUT 234533.