Thanks a bunch

Never let it be said that Sir William Stubbs, chief executive of the Further Education Funding Council, lacks compassion.

An exasperated member of North Warwickshire College complained that fears surrounding possible allegations of sleaze and impropriety had even prevented his board from agreeing to pay for a floral tribute for a recently deceased governor.

Sir William replied that, happily, the wreath would not incur the wrath of the FEFC fraud squad - because it could not be classed as remuneration for the late member.