Why all students should be taught interpersonal communication

When I first started teaching a module on interpersonal communication last year, we were asked to create a syllabus that would help students not just speak and write better but reflect on themselves and, ultimately, become better people beyond the classroom.

It was a challenging prospect. Where to begin? My students are first-years at a university in Singapore. Most are only just entering their twenties and face a few more years of studying before stepping fully into the working world. They are focused on grades and a class on interpersonal communication does not shout out “easy A” to them. Many do not consider themselves natural speakers or writers, and a good percentage describe themselves as introverts.

Moreover, they do not see the inherent value of such a class. “Do we really need to learn interpersonal communication? I’m communicating right now!” – or variations on this theme – are typical comments on Day 1 of the course. But it always makes me laugh and is a great prompt for me to launch into an explanation about how effective interpersonal communication goes far beyond the ability to hold a quick, casual conversation.

This class is ultimately about a fundamental human survival skill – building meaningful relationships. Not just the relationships we build with friends, family, colleagues and others, but also – and perhaps most importantly – the relationship we build with ourselves. The first few weeks involve a deep dive into an often undervalued part of building interpersonal skills – building intrapersonal skills. It can be defined in multiple ways, but ultimately it revolves around how we view ourselves: what makes up our sense of identity, how self-esteem and self-confidence are best nurtured, and the fundamental reasons for why we act and think the way we do.

It may seem strange to begin a class on interpersonal communication with the idea of self-awareness but, by the end of the course, most students have come to realise that their personal emotional state, hidden biases and unexamined values constantly shape how they communicate with others. And time and time again, the truly successful (read: happy and personally fulfilled) speak about the importance of understanding yourself.

As someone who has spent so much of her life in the Singaporean education system, I understand better than most why students worry about achieving a certain grade. And as someone who has been through the system, I also understand better than most that the grades are only important up to a point. Once you’ve celebrated your graduation, what keeps you moving forward are the skills and attitude you bring to the table.

After 18 months and countless classes, I am convinced of the value of teaching interpersonal communication as part of a general curriculum. At the end of the module, I take a few minutes with each of my students to encourage them to share their thoughts on what they’ve learned. I have been gratified and moved to hear several students share how the class has helped them. Examples include improving their communication with their parents, overcoming previously insurmountable intergenerational barriers, overcoming their fears of public speaking, and convincing them that taking care of their mental health is just as essential as taking care of their physical health.

Of course, as is the reality of teaching, the module doesn’t have the same effect on everyone. In a group of almost 100 students, there are always a handful who, even by the end, still do not see the value of this compulsory module. They feel that these skills are not nearly as important as the technical skills they learn in other classes. I do not blame them one bit – most education systems, Singapore’s included, simply take too much of the human out of our teaching.

Knowledge is an extraordinary and wonderful thing, but the person that takes in that knowledge is just as important, and we so often neglect the person. I am thrilled that schools and colleges are seeing the value of actively teaching such subjects now, and I cannot wait for the day that courses on interpersonal communication, self-awareness and emotional intelligence are just as commonplace as more technical subjects.

Thanusha Raj is a lecturer in media and communications at Digipen Institute of Technology Singapore.