Laurie Taylor Column

From: Mavis Willingborough. Deputy Head of Corporate Logistics (Timetabling Division), University of Poppleton

To: All Academic Staff

Following extensive consultations, it has been agreed that the following statutory changes should be made to timetabling practice in this university:

1. All lectures should now begin 8 (eight) minutes after their scheduled start time on the central timetable. This is a major modification of the previous 5 (five) minute start rule and has been introduced to cope with the increased throughput of student customers in our lecture halls.

Two illustrative examples are given below.

Lecture One. Introduction to Aeronautics . Centrally timetabled start time: 10.00 hours. Previously modified start time: 10.05 hours. Newly remodified start time: 10.08 hours.

Lecture Two. Cartesian Dualism . Centrally timetabled start time: 12.00 hours. Previously modified start time: 12.05. Newly remodified start time: 12.08 hours.

2. All lectures should now end 8 (eight) minutes before their scheduled finish time on the central timetable. This represents another major change from the previous 5 (five) minutes before the end rule and has been introduced to cope with the increased throughput of student customers. Two illustrative examples are given below.

Lecture One . Advanced Ergonomics . Centrally timetabled finish time: 12.00 hours. Previously modified finish time: 11.55 hours. Newly remodified finish time: 11.52 hours.

Lecture Two . Intermediate Beowulf . Centrally timetabled finish time: 16.00 hours. Previously modified finish time: 15.55 hours. Newly remodified finish time: 15.52 hours.

N.B. The above examples are illustrative only and are not intended to suggest that Introduction to Aeronautics or Intermediate Beowulf should start or finish at the times stated.

I trust that these timetabling changes will be observed by all contracted members of staff and that I will not need to return to the subject in subsequent communications. After all, I must have something better to do.

Mavis Willingborough (11.35 hours, Friday October 14)