Laurie Taylor column

What Are You Reading on Holiday?

According to reliable estimates, nearly 80,000 academics from UK universities are currently enjoying a summer vacation. But what are they reading during their time away from the desk, the lecture hall and the laboratory?

For the next four weeks, The Times Higher will be making surprise mobile calls to a representative sample of holidaying dons.

This week: Professor G. Lapping

Holiday spot: A smaller-than-expected villa on the extreme outskirts of Sanary-sur-Mer, France.

Times Higher: Professor Lapping?

Lapping (for it is he): Pardon?

Higher: Is it possible to speak to Professor Lapping?

Lapping: Un moment. J'irai pour ma femme. Elle parle francais plus meilleur que moi.

Higher: But it's you we want to speak to. This is The Times Higher . We're carrying out a survey. Would you tell us what you're reading at the moment?

Lapping: This very moment?

Higher: Yes.

Lapping: I'm reading " Guide d'utilisation de votre table a induction ". I'm trying to understand " sans demande de puissance de votre part la zone de cuisson s'éteindra automatiquement ". That seems to be saying that without any effort on my part the cooking zone will éteindra  all by itself. But how can that happen? As I've just explained to Mrs Lapping for the fifth time, there has to be some human intervention. Or the thing would just keep randomly going on and off. You can see that, can't you?

Higher: Oh, yes. Any other reading you hope to get round to in the future?

Lapping: Just as soon as the cooker's working I'll be straight on to the warning sign on the washing machine. A great big exclamation mark telling me that I mustn't allow my vêtements to " reste entre le hublot and the caoutchouc ". That should see me through to the weekend.

Higher: Professor Lapping, it's been a pleasure talking to you. Au revoir .

Lapping: Le plaisir est tout mien. Et bon voyage.