Laurie Taylor column

Dear Maureen

Sorry to be so elusive but it's difficult to pick up messages in the Pyrenees where I'm having a brief respite after a hectic fortnight at the Toulouse conference on Comparative Viniculture. Here are some quick answers to your questions:

1. Try the box marked 'Mostly Rubbish' behind the filing cabinet. By the way, since when did we agree that students could have their third-year projects returned?

2. SORRY. Monday mornings and Friday afternoons are still sacrosanct.

3. Tell the library to use last year's reading lists for all my courses.

I'll be issuing extensive updates at the beginning of term.

4. No, I haven't taken my Anglepoise home. It went missing in the middle of last term and I haven't seen it since. It is certainly not the third one to disappear from my office.

5. £238 is not a misprint. The organisers in St Paul de Vence did not provide dinner for delegates on the opening night of the Urban Blight colloquium and we were forced to make our own arrangements.

6. I'm afraid I can't help Lapping complete his form. How can I tell him my 'principal goals for the next academic year' until I've had a chance to check what I said last year?

Hope all that is clear... See you on October th.

À bientot

Doctor Piercemuller