Laurie Taylor column

Morning, Doctor Quintock. Looking for your Contemporary Cultural Theory scripts?

What's that, Maureen?

Your second-marking D106 scripts. They're over there by the window. Next to Narrativity.

Maureen, what on earth are you talking about? I'm not Cultural Theory. I'm second-marking Image and Influence, Counter-Hegemonic Discourse and the Future of Mass Media in a Digital Age.

I'm sorry, Doctor Quintock, but I've definitely got you down as Cultural Theory. Yes, here we are. Quintock. First marking your own three courses, Semiotics, Textual Analysis and Gender and Representation. And then second-marking Image and Influence, Counter-Hegemonic Discourse, the Future of Mass Media in a Digital Age and Contemporary Cultural Theory.

But I could have sworn Odgers did Contemporary Cultural Theory.

Not any more. He dropped it in exchange for taking on the dissertations for Broadcast News: Bias and Balance.

Leaving me with Cultural Theory. How many scripts are there?

It could be worse. The grand total is 180. Ninety straightforward four-question 10,000-word scripts and then 90 20,000-word projects in which they've applied cultural theory to a film or television programme of their choice. But I think you'll find they've all chosen either Buffy the Thingy Slayer or The Office .

Oh God. Well, beggars can't be choosers.

That's the spirit, Doctor Quintock. Will you take them with you now?

I suppose so.

Excellent. Will it be forklift truck or crane and jib?

Crane and jib, please, Maureen.

Spoken like a trouper.