Laurie Taylor Column

I'm ready for you now, Maureen.

Thank you, Professor Lapping.

Excuse the formality of this occasion - but as this is your annual performance review, it is important that we stick closely to agreed procedures.

Now, Maureen, as you know there are three forms of performance review: portfolio-led, objective-led and standard-led. In your case, we will be following the objective-led paradigm. I see from our records that last year we agreed upon three major objectives.

That's right. Streamlining the timetabling process, acquiring expertise in web design, and implementing the use of Excel spreadsheets for budgeting analysis.

And how have we been getting along with those?

They've all been achieved.

Really? Jolly good. Well, let's now turn to personal development. Last year, you indicated an intention to further develop your computer skills.

I've completed two advanced courses in that area.

You have? Excellent. Well, then let's come straight to your objectives for next year.

There are two principal ones: developing the online student evaluation of modules, and creating a student welfare needs databank.

Right. Well, Maureen. I have to say that is all most impressive. I only wish your achievements could be financially recognised. Unfortunately, as you are still on the secretarial rather than the administrative scale, it is not possible to regard you as really responsible for any of the areas for which you are really responsible.

And there really is no possibility of that situation being remedied ?

Well, let me put it like this. I cannot do anything immediately because obviously I'm very tied up with cleaning the blackboard, arranging the chairs for the next seminar and opening the window. But I'll get back to you in the very near future. Is that all right?

I can barely wait.