John Winfield, convener of Glasgow University's safety and environmental committee, acknowledges that "shafts of wit and humour" are always welcome in the university newsletter reports of court and senate. But he is nonetheless keen to correct any misleading impression in these reports, stressing that (a) his committee does not "shuffle papers", and (b) he does not think Winchesters are clutched to bosoms in many departments. "For the correct procedure, consult the university safety policy."