Laurie Taylor Column

UNIVERSITY OF POPPLETON

Bachelor of Arts in Plagiarism

Experts are predicting that every UK university will soon boast its own Directorate of Plagiarism. Until now, however, this exciting new discipline has lacked firm academic foundations. Poppleton University is therefore delighted to offer the UK's first BA in plagiarism studies. Students will be required to choose 12 units from the following modules:

CO-OPERATION AND COLLUSION

This two-term module will provide the key analytical and ethical distinctions between showing a friend your essay and actively encouraging her to rip it off and pretend that it's hers.

IGNORING CHEATING: THEORY AND PRACTICE

A three-term introduction to the science of totally ignoring crass student cheating in the interests of securing good degree results for one's own department.

POSTMODERNISM AND PLAGIARISM

A two-term theoretical module that questions the myths of "textual authenticity" and "originality" by reference to the notion of "multiple readings" and "the death of the author".

LABORATORY PLAGIARISM

A one-term module devoted to the vexed question of test-tube and retort substitution in the contemporary laboratory context.

WHOSE RAT IS IT ANYWAY?

A one-term module analysing issues relating to the ownership and correct identification of experimental animals in a psychological learning situation.

ORAL PLAGIARISM

Some institutions have attempted to circumvent plagiarism by adding oral components to examinations. This two-term course will examine oral plagiarism techniques including basic mimicry and ventriloquism.

FORENSIC INVESTIGATIVE TECHNIQUES

Conclusive establishment of plagiarism often depends on investigative techniques. This five-term course will examine these in ascending order of intensity: asking nicely, introducing trick questions, making mild threats, sonic disorientation, hooding and beating.

THE UNIVERSITY OF POPPLETON. DEGREES? WE GOT 'EM.