Laurie Taylor Column

From: Jamie Targett. Head of Corporate Development.

To: All Members of Staff.

I am pleased to enclose a summary of the final report of the university's Logo Committee.

The committee began by examining a number of existing logos in order to assess their relevance to Poppleton.

University of Glamorgan: Great minds don't think alike - but they do like to think. This is set against an image of a shoal of herrings with one herring swimming ahead on its own.

Verdict. Inappropriate. The stress on "thinking" was not compatible with Poppleton's new motivational injunction, "Just Do It!" and there was an obvious disjunction between the image of the individual leading fish and Poppleton's commitment to teamwork under the benevolent authoritarian leadership of the vice-chancellor. It was also felt that herrings as a species lacked general appeal.

Liverpool John Moores: Dream, plan, achieve.

Verdict. Good in parts. The reference to dreaming was regarded as too dilettante for Poppleton and the implication that "planning" could be undertaken by anyone other than the Head of Corporate Development was rejected.

University of Aberdeen: Great minds don't think alike. They just work together - set against a background of handwritten script and a slim ballpoint pen.

Verdict. The committee found yet another reference to great minds not thinking alike "on the tedious side". The handwritten script was also thought incompatible with Poppleton's commitment to high-tech underfunded learning resource centres.

Conclusion. The committee proceeded to develop a logo that drew on the best of other current slogans while encompassing the unique qualities of Poppleton.

This logo will feature in our autumn marketing campaign and on all new university stationery. You are requested to commit it to memory. It is now an intrinsic part of our ongoing brand image.

New logo: Moderately good minds are all very well provided they are ready to work together as a team and don't complain too much about the long hours and poor working conditions.

"This is set against a sepia image of a traditional chain gang."

PS: T-shirts bearing this logo are available from the Bursar's office, price £20 (XXL only).