Laurie Taylor Column

University of Poppleton

BA in plagiarism studies

Following the increased attention being accorded to the question of plagiarism in higher education, we are pleased to announce the launch of a new degree in plagiarism studies. Following the increased attention being accorded to the question of plagiarism in higher education, we are pleased to announce the launch of a new degree in plagiarism studies.

Graduates from this course may look forward to obtaining well-paid employment in many of the sectors of commerce that currently place a heavy reliance on plagiarism: daytime television (presenting and producing); takeaway pizza advertising; the preparation of political party manifestos; writing chancellors' degree-day speeches; devising "family and children" statements for discredited politicians; and the compilation of mantras and litanies.

All students will be required to take compulsory courses in the following subject areas:

Constructive photocopying; intermediate and advanced cut-and-paste techniques; disguising critical sources;

counterfeiting names and dates; evading electronic detection tools;

bypassing attributions; wholesale downloading; dubious citations;

makey-uppy quotations; intermediate and advanced paraphrasing; general principles of collusion; and submitting other people's work: theory and practice.

Students on this course will be examined by tutors who are specially trained in the detection of originality. Any sign of such a characteristic in submitted work will attract serious penalties.

In the words of our chief external examiner: "Graduates from this course will not be expected to have a single original idea in their heads."

Successful undergraduate students may consider applying for a place on our newly founded postgraduate course in advanced and contagious plagiarism: MPhil bubonic plagiarism.

We look forward to hearing from you. We look forward to hearing from you.

The Vice-Chancellor (signature copied by Mrs Dilworth)