Laurie Taylor Column

Special Branch is to encourage academics to report students who display signs of political extremism - The Times Higher, October 20 .

Special Branch

Good morning. I'm a university tutor and I wanted to report a suspected case of student extremism.

The name of your university?

Poppleton.

We now have a dedicated Special Branch contact for each university. I'll put you through.

Poppleton University Special Branch officer.

Good morning. My name is Derek Quintock and I'm a senior lecturer in the department of media and cultural studies.

And you wanted to report evidence of extremism in your student group?

That's right. She's a second-year student. Last week, we had a seminar on media and democracy. When I asked for her views on the state of democracy in the UK, she said she felt it was a complete sham because the decision to invade Iraq was agreed only on the basis of evidence that proved to be a pack of lies and that the decision to invade had been taken long before the vote by a secret agreement between Blair and Bush, which had more to do with the oil reserves in Iraq than the brutality of Saddam's regime, and that the only course for true democrats was to take to the streets and ensure the overthrow of the present lying deceptive warmongering Government.

Very interesting. And the name of this student?

Jennifer Southgate.

That sounds a very English name. Is Jennifer a Muslim?

Not that I'm aware.

I don't think we need take this any further. The views you describe when expressed by a non-Muslim fall into a special non-actionable category.

A non-actionable category?

They're what we call normal. But thanks for ringing. Keep your nose to the ground.

Where else?