Laurie Taylor column

"Universities report re-sit chaos" - The Times, September 2007

Ah, Martin. There you are. You've come to find out the results of your re sits?

That's right, Professor Lapping.

You're wanting to know if you can continue to the third year of your course.

That's right.

Well, Martin, I'm delighted to say that you were successful in your re-sit for the second-year course in advanced cultural analysis. Well done!

Thank you.

But I'm afraid that there's also some less good news. You failed your second re-sit of your first-year course on introductory cultural analysis.

So I've passed the advanced but failed the introductory?

That would appear to be the position. But fortunately all is not lost. The Examinations Board was sufficiently impressed by your successful re-sit of the advanced course to allow you a third re-sit of the introductory course this Christmas.

Thank you.

But there is one other small thing. When members of the board examined your file, they found that serious doubts about your ability had been expressed by one of the interviewers during the original admissions procedure.

Really?

And that, I'm afraid, means that we must ask you to re-sit your original admissions interview.

I'm sure it will be a formality.

But it could mean that I might not even be accepted for the course at all?

Count your blessings, Martin.

Blessings?

At least you don't have to re-sit any of your A levels.

There is that.