Laurie Taylor

" Two universities are warned by the QAA that only ' limited confidence ' could be placed in their ability to run any overseas academic operations properly. " THES , January 12.

May we turn to Item 12 on the agenda: validation of Poppleton University media studies degrees obtained by students at the Technical College of Juan Les Pins.

Professor Lapping, I'm sorry to interrupt, but could you refresh my memory on this item?

Certainly, Dr Quintock. This refers to the exciting and highly profitable partnership forged by Dr Piercemuller between this university and the Technical College of Juan Les Pins, whereby the latter is permitted to award Poppleton degrees in media studies tostudents who successfully complete our standard undergraduate programme.

We're talking here about French students?

That's highly likely. They're all studying at Juan Les Pins, which is pretty definitely in France, right towards the bottom.

But that means they read and write in French.

Really, Dr Quintock, this is elementary stuff. Of course they read and write in French. We have an expert team of translators to ensure that the course material has been appropriately translated.

But who marks the final papers? Who decides on the appropriate degree class?

Once again, we call on our expert team of translators.

But where is this expert team? Do we have their names?

Maureen.

Maureen? Is that all?

Dr Quintock, unless, like Maureen, you can boast a Poppleton Institute diploma in conversational French, it ill behoves you to question her credentials for this task. May we now move to the vote? All those in favour of granting Poppleton University degrees in media studies to 150 assorted French students from Juan Les Pins, raise your hands.

C'est incroyable!

Thank you, Dr Quintock, I'll take that as a "oui".