‘A waste of time and money’: parents’ perceptions of gap years – and how to counter them

Imagine you work in education (and presumably, for those of you reading this article, there’s very little imagination required), and you spend a proportion of your time telling students NOT to go to school. As you might expect, some parents might raise questions about this approach, especially if they send their kids to a private or independent school with significantly higher fees than the state or public school system.

That could be one of the barriers you face when advocating for a student to take a gap year. Some parents see the notion of a gap year as a waste of time – or worse, a waste of money – and they fear that their child could lose motivation for work, study or any meaningful activity.

These common parental fears are in direct contrast to the standpoint of universities themselves, which view gap time as a valuable asset. The findings of one University of New South Wales academic article show that “Gap year participation positively predicts academic motivation” and that, overwhelmingly, more and more UK universities prefer students who have taken a gap year.

In the US, a number of high-profile universities even provide funding for gap year activities, such as Princeton’s Bridge Year Program or the University of North Carolina’s Global Gap Fellowship. Tufts University now offers a funded gap year programme called Tufts 1+4, which “will be a very powerful experience for students and an opportunity for them to learn and develop their civic skills and their leadership skills”.

Gap year: a period of personal growth

To explore changing parent attitudes to gap years, and how to persuade inflexible parents of their benefit, I spoke to Julia Rogers, president emeritus and current board member of the Gap Year Association (GYA), about how she approaches such challenges.

“In the decade and a half that I’ve been immersed in the gap year world, I’ve seen substantial changes,” Ms Rogers says. “Initially seen as unconventional, gap years are now gaining acceptance in the US, mirroring historical norms in the UK and Australia.

“More students are embracing this transformative period for personal growth, career clarity and global citizenship. The industry has also professionalised, establishing a professional association (the GYA) and offering diverse opportunities from volunteer work to structured programmes, all aimed at shaping well-rounded individuals, ready to tackle higher education or the workforce with newfound purpose and perspective.” 

And how has the perception of a gap year changed in recent years? “When my students tell their friends they are taking a gap year, the follow-up is no longer ‘What’s that?’ It’s ‘Oh, cool! What are you doing?’”

When parents’ anxiety threatens to sabotage gap year plans

Given the complexity of some gap year plans, and the fact that students now have pretty much the entire world at their disposal (whether for working, volunteering, travelling, completing an apprenticeship or a combination of all of them), gap year planning is not without its challenges.

Ms Rogers reflects on some of the toughest issues that come up as a gap year consultant, specifically when it comes to engaging parents. “I think one of the most difficult situations I encounter is when a parent lets their own anxiety sabotage their kid’s experience,” she says. “Saying yes to a gap year and then letting go of their own expectations can be really hard for a parent – possibly harder than sending a child off to uni, an experience that might feel more predictable.

“A gap year asks more of everyone – but gives more back as well, in my opinion. The best thing a parent can do for their gap year student is to set their most important parameters, focusing on safety, budget and other non-negotiables, and then let the student drive the planning process. Most parents are blown away by what their kid can plan and accomplish on their gap time.”

Ms Rogers acknowledges that some parents are wary or cautious, and require a bit of gentle persuasion. This can take many forms, and she shares her top tips on how to approach such a situation.

“When working with a wary parent, I start by listening to their concerns. Then I share the benefits of a gap year, such as increased maturity, focus and readiness for college or career. I typically cite GYA data associated with these benefits.

“I emphasise that a gap year is not a break but a structured, intentional period of growth, tailored to fit the student’s goals and the family’s budget. I also address financial worries by discussing affordable options, such as volunteer programmes that cover living expenses or part-time work during the gap year. By providing evidence, success stories and a well-thought-out plan, I help parents see the gap year as a valuable investment in their child’s future.”

Speaking of data, which can often help strengthen arguments for taking action, the GYA has produced a handy infographic, filled with general gap year information and statistics, which can be shared with students, parents and caregivers – and fellow counsellors.

Gap year success stories

Over 15 years of working with students and families who are contemplating a gap year, Julia Rogers has witnessed the whole spectrum of opinion, as well as a lot of success stories. I asked her to share her best memories of working in this industry.

“I've worked with hundreds of gap year families and hear the most heartwarming feedback about the growth parents get to witness in their children as a result of a well-spent gap year,” she says.  

“But the ones that stick with me are the non-believers-to-believers stories. A parent who only let her daughter take a gap year because of the pandemic once told me in an end-of-year survey, ‘I was completely against the gap year. I only allowed my daughter to take this year off because it really looked like college would have been misery for her. That said, now she’s completed it, I can absolutely say that this year was the best decision for her. Her college experience will be that much more rewarding because of this gap year, not in spite of it.’”

Ms Rogers says she frequently hears this sentiment from gap year-hesitant parents. Hopefully this article has equipped you with some good approaches, as well as useful resources, to use when you are speaking to students – and particularly their parents – about the idea of a gap year.

However, it won’t help with what I find the hardest part of gap year planning: trying not to feel jealous of (or living vicariously through) all the wonderful opportunities the students get to experience.