‘Help! I want to drop out of university’: how to advise struggling ex-students

Even students guided by the most experienced and diligent counsellors will occasionally encounter unexpected situations at university. And they may well contact you for help and advice.

Sometimes they reach out to their school counsellor even before speaking to their parents about difficulties they are facing – perhaps because they don’t want to make their parents anxious, or because they believe that their counsellor will know what to do and can offer constructive help and support.

If a student contacts you to discuss a problem they are facing, try to arrange to speak face-to-face online or in person, rather than just through messages and emails. This enables you to glean further information, get a better idea of the context of the situation and see how the student looks, so that you can gauge the severity of the situation.

At the end of your initial discussion with the student, arrange a time when you will next speak to them. That way, they know that someone they trust is looking out for them, willing to help and researching practical suggestions and potential solutions.

Before your next meeting with the student, research a number of clear options to discuss, with a list of the pros and cons of each. Often a problem might seem very challenging to a student who is stressed. However, once it has been broken down and you have explored solutions together, they start to feel better. Encourage the student to be open and honest with their family about what they are going through, and offer to support them with this if necessary.

Here are some potential scenarios students might encounter – and some ideas about how you might offer support.

1. A student contacts you at some point in the first year, wanting to leave university because they feel homesick, unsettled and generally unhappy

Encourage the student to reach out to their personal tutor if they have one. Find out where the student-support services are located and how to make an appointment, and then suggest that the student does this.

If they have not made friends, research some clubs and societies they could join, including one for people from their home country.

If the university is in the UK, tell them about Nightline or similar organisations that support students, and suggest that they have a chat with them.

If you have a contact in the recruitment office at the specific university, speak to them and find out what they suggest. In my experience, recruitment-office staff can be very helpful, and will usually offer to meet up with the student and give them some pointers.

Reach out to your alumni network at the university (or another in the same town) and see if they can meet up with the student.

If NONE of the above works, and the student remains unhappy, you could discuss the possibility of changing institution. Be cautious about their options, because they are often limited, and transfers can be stressful and tricky. You could reach out to suitable universities initially, to ascertain if transfers are possible and find out the appropriate method of applying, so that you can present the student with a list of options.

2. A student faces a health problem while studying

It is very important to ensure that the student has all the necessary reports from their doctor. If possible, these should be obtained from the health centre at their university.

They should also consult their personal tutor for advice.

Point the student towards the university policy on absences and exemptions if this is available on the website, and advise them to be very careful when it comes to deadlines for submitting forms regarding absences and requests for extenuating circumstances to be considered. You can assist them with the necessary wording if they are finding it difficult or time-consuming.

3. A student embarks on a course in their home country that does not match their expectations and wants to transfer abroad in the second year

It is usually very difficult to match courses, and students need to understand this. You can email some of your contacts at the universities the student is interested in and forward their responses to the student, so that they understand the reality of the situation.

When considering their options, the student needs to understand that they will probably have to apply for first-year entry in another country. They should weigh up the cost of this and whether it might be better to complete their undergraduate degree and then continue with a master’s abroad.

Encourage them to look at Erasmus semester-abroad or year-abroad options at their local university, so that they can experience time abroad without abandoning their current studies.

Consider how they can take steps to improve their experience if they decide to stay at home. Perhaps they could apply to an undergraduate summer school at another university – there are several of these available at UK universities, for example.

4. A student is struggling academically

In the first instance, they need to reflect on why they are underperforming and ask for constructive feedback from their professors.

This situation can sometimes arise in the first year, when students are adapting to university life and have not yet learnt appropriate time management. If it is because of a lack of personal study time, encourage them to work out a proper study programme and explore what kind of drop-in help sessions are available at the university.

If they really are unable to continue, they could consider changing to a different course at the same university. They should talk to their personal adviser to see if this is possible, and how it can be done.

If they need to make an academic appeal, they may need your assistance in navigating their way through the process – which, for an international student, can sometimes be overwhelming.

5. A student on an athletic scholarship is facing difficulties

Students who enter university on an athletic scholarship need to understand the challenges of balancing their coach and team’s demanding training programme with adapting to the first year of university study, complete with new academic material.

If students reach out because they are struggling, encourage them to speak to older teammates to see how they coped initially. They are in a good position to give practical advice. 

Usually it is simply a matter of refining their time-management skills. However, the workload can be overwhelming at first, particularly for international students in a new country. By allowing them to voice their concerns to you, you allow them to feel some relief. Put their struggles into the context of being in a new team, a new environment and a new country.

If they believe their coach will be willing to listen (this is not always the case), then encourage them to express how they are feeling.

As athletes tend to have built up resilience through their sport, the situation usually resolves itself. Simply by offering a listening ear – along with time-management advice – you will find that the situation will slowly improve.

In all cases, advise students to document the situation and keep accurate, dated records of what’s happening, particularly in relation to health matters.

Encourage open and honest communication with university staff, parents and friends. And, most important of all, make time to listen to the students, so that they feel that they are being supported with practical advice from someone they trust.