How neurodivergent counsellors can avoid feelings of overwhelm

Sticky notes everywhere. To-do lists in several journals because you haven’t figured out which style of journal works best for you yet. People walking into your office and declaring it a bomb site (but you think it’s organised). Small easy tasks on your to-do list that lie neglected for ever, but deep-dive interesting projects that are done in seconds. Avoiding that one phone call you need to make for weeks on end. 

Do any of these sound familiar? If so, you may be a neurodivergent future-pathways adviser like me.

I can get overstimulated and overwhelmed very easily. So when I have 80 seniors (Year 13s) all applying to different universities in different countries, 80 juniors (Year 12s) making their university and country lists and 80 Grade 10 (Year 11) students choosing their IB subjects based on their individual desired futures, all under my care, it doesn’t take long before I start to feel anxiety trickling up from my chest. 

I also have a terrible memory. I can have a conversation with a student and then the minute they walk out the door, I can forget everything that I promised to do.

How to cope as a neurodivergent counsellor

Over the years, I have developed tools to help me survive and succeed in a world of overstimulation. The following are the ones that I use to ensure that my neurodivergent brain can support my students effectively, efficiently and compassionately.

1. Visualisation

I can process my thoughts and tasks better if I can see them. Depending on what I am working on, this could mean anything from scribbles on a piece of paper to a full-blown mind map. It helps me process what is happening and figure out my next actions.

2. Note-taking

For every single meeting I have with a student, parent or staff member I record key topics discussed in a Google spreadsheet. That way, when I see that person in a future meeting, I can recall what we’ve been discussing. I tell whoever I am meeting upfront what I am doing and why, so they don’t feel uncomfortable with me taking notes – I explain that it is for my neurodivergent brain and that the notes are for my eyes only.

3. Massive A4 paper diary

I tried to go electronic for everything and it just didn't work for me. I found it far too stimulating. So I now have a massive A4 diary, with one week over two pages. I update it at the end of each week for the following week: meetings, scheduled classes, projects I am working on and tasks to do for the week ahead.

4. Highlighters

I use highlighters all the time. If my two-page week planner gets messy and full up, I highlight the things still to do so I can’t miss them. I also tick off every appointment and task that I have completed and every lesson I have taught – it’s a great feeling.

5. Gigantic year planners

At the beginning of each academic year, I print off a year planner: one for Grade 10 (Year 11), one for Grade 11 (Year 12) and one for Grade 12 (Year 13). I then put in any big deadlines (for example the Ucas application deadlines), holidays, field trips and other school events, and I stick the planner to the wall right in front of my desk, so it’s constantly staring at me. I tick off the days as we go. This makes me feel confident that I haven’t forgotten anything.

6. Alerts on Outlook calendar

Even though I have my trustworthy massive diary, I also add my appointments into my electronic Outlook calendar and set alerts for each one 15 minutes in advance.

7. Blackboard

As we enter our building, I have a welcome blackboard. I update this every week with everything that’s happening that week (including birthdays) and key things to remember, such as deadlines and special guests. I am not sure if this is for the students or for me. 

8. Routine

At the end of every academic year, I look back at my diary and note down all the major tasks I had to do. This then becomes my master to-do list for the following year, and I add to it as and when new tasks come up. This reassures me that I won’t forget anything from year to year.

9. Red-flag emails

At the end of the day, I red-flag any emails that need a response the following day. I started the red-flag process a year ago but found myself red-flagging every single email – which, of course, did not help. Now I find that If I red-flag anything at the end of the day that I absolutely must do the next day, it helps focus me when I arrive at the school an hour before the students.

10. Acknowledging my feelings

I allow myself to acknowledge when I am becoming overwhelmed – and then step away for 10 minutes to breathe and come back with a plan.