Dirty joke

Westminster University lecturers could have been forgiven for thinking they had to lump cleaning duties on to their already onerous academic workloads, Antithesis has learned. An internal memo, dated April 24, informed staff that the university hoped to wipe Pounds 30,000 a year off its cleaning bill by only cleaning offices three times a year. It said that the window cleaning contact had also been suspended.

But, just as some lecturers were begining to turn their minds to the question of whether it's best to vacuum or dust first, it emerged that the memo's author had picked up the wrong, presumably dirty, end of the stick.

A cleaning review is under way and daily office cleaning will continue in the meantime. A spokesman said: "There is no question of offices being vacuumed just three times a year. And we would never expect lecturers to do the cleaning." Both lecturers' and cleaners' unions are said to be relieved.