Steer clear of cuckoos

Freshers should beware of befriending elephants, grasshoppers and cuckoos. Instead, they should cultivate moles as friends, according to a new guide for students. In The Smarter Student: Skills and Strategies for Success at University , academics Kathleen McMillan and Jonathan Weyers of Dundee University, say that elephants are loud, grasshoppers are party mad and cuckoos tend to quit their courses early. By comparison, moles are modest and usually highly competent.